On the Path to Repentance
by Sacred Violator
Summary: The Reapers have been destroyed, but that didn't stop Shepard from feeling the guilt of loosing those dear to her and wondering if she really made the right choice. For the rest of her life she'll be haunted by what has happened, despite living the long life of a hero. Will she overcome her guilt? Femshep; paragon; picked destroy; shenko. Spoilers for Extended Cut!
1. Introduction

On the Path to Repentance

"You know, what if Shepard isn't dead?" Kaidan turned around, lowering the memorial plaque which held Shepard's name. The Normandy crew exchanged glances with each other, some looked hopeful while others looked skeptical. A few just glanced sympathy towards the man who lost the heroine he loved.

"I mean, I know it's a long shot and with the Citadel being damaged and everything, but what if?"

"Do you really think that's even possible?" Garrus chimed in. "I'm not sure exactly where we're at and are we even able to return to Sol?"

"Maybe," Kaidan replied. "The Normandy might be damaged, but it looks like it's salvageable. If we make a few tweaks, then maybe we can crawl our way to Sol using the ship's FTL system." The crew just stared. The final push to stop the Reapers, as well as EDI's sudden death took it's last toll on everyone and the exhaustion just hit them like a tidal wave.

"We have to try! I'm not going to give up. She wouldn't!" The crowd stood silent, not sure if they were willing to give their hopes up again. They all hoped severely that Shepard would come out victorious and alive. While the former was half true–since she didn't actually walk out–the latter was at least unclear. Everyone had assumed that their Commander was killed due to the explosion that took place at the Citadel, especially the center. Any logical person would conclude that she couldn't have survived. But love is a powerful thing. Love makes it harder to give up hope that a person whom they cared the most deeply would still be alive.

While the crew of the Normandy were exhausted, they realized that they hadn't completely given up hope either. Maybe it was Kaidan's desperation, which could be mistakenly read as enthusiasm, but they were ready to fix the ship and find the person who commanded it.

"Alright, let's move." Joker paused for a moment, still trying to wrap his head around the death of EDI. "For Shepard."

It seemed unreal. The war was over and the Reapers were gone. Earth was going to take a very long time to heal, both the planet itself and its residents. As the Reapers collapsed and the husks dissolved, the people of the galaxy wasn't sure what was going to be their next move. People knew of course, but how exactly would they carry it out? Admiral Hackett of the Alliance Military was the first to give instructions on what to do.

As the orders were handed out to the Alliance, Earth had its first task on the road to recovery: setting up a shelter, gathering supplies and looking for survivors. An Alliance Marine company were ordered to scout the Citadel and recover any survivors, including Shepard.

The Citadel had almost been completely obliterated. As squads were searching, many of the people were skeptical if they were ever going to find anything or anyone. Within a few hours of the search, some were already able to find survivors. More dead bodies were found, but that was expected considering the circumstances.

A specific platoon were ordered to investigate the Citadel's center, where the Crucible was docked. Most members couldn't really tell exactly what had happened prior to the Crucible's launch. The remnants of the docking area was destroyed due to the explosion and there was no oxygen to contain any survivors.

About a week past since the start of the search, people had begun to lose hope that they would find Shepard alive, if not at all. It wasn't until one squadron had detected a living organism in the vicinity of the Citadel's center that people's hope had started to resurface.

The damage to the Normandy was less than what most of its crew had expected. While some of the damage was physical, most of it was due to a lack of energy to power the ship. Thankfully, the ship still had enough alternative fuel to travel for a couple of weeks. Hopefully, enough to get to the Solar System. As they headed to Earth, the crew started hearing reports of a possible survivor about 60 kilometers near where Shepard was last heard through a distorted radio frequency. A wave of hope spread through out the Normandy, thinking of the possibility of Shepard being the survivor.

Hopefully, they were right.

* * *

Author's Note: Thank you everyone for taking the time to read this! I'll be completely honest. I don't really have any experience in writing fiction, save for a creative writing class and some fabled personal attempts. I'm not a writer and don't really plan on being one. I decided to write this because even though the Extended Cut was an improvement, it still didn't meet my expectations and it ended up opening old wounds. I guess I'm one of the few who wanted to see a more in depth conclusion about Shepard's fate in "High EMS Destroy Ending" and a reunion. This is how I'm coping with it.

The first few chapters will be short due to may lack of experience, but also it's the first chapter, which is mostly an introduction.

I said "hope" a little too much in this chapter, but the entire trilogy is basically about hope, so it should even out. ;)

My writing tends to be a little choppy, so hopefully I'll be able to work on that and improve in future chapters.

Just a bit of warning, this story is going to contain a lot of angst since the story is about guilt. But I promise, it will NOT always stay angsty!

Anyway, this is my first attempt at writing so place a little bit of sympathy on the noob! But, constructive criticism is encouraged too. :)

Thanks again!


	2. And Then

"Admiral, I'm detecting some kind of life form in the vicinity. Permission to check the area out?" Lance Corporal Paul Larsen asked.

"Permission granted," Admiral Hackett replied. "We need to see if that's Shepard."

Paul gave the signal to the rest of his squad to move ahead. The squad's Sergeant was killed during the Final Push and they didn't have time to have a new Sergeant to take over, so Paul was next in line to take charge. He was only in the Marines for two years, but he was beginning to feel confident in his leadership skills, thanks to his fallen superior. He was still insecure and had his doubts, but due to the lessons his Sergeant taught–or well–yelled to him, Paul began to see what makes a good leader.

The corporal never really thought of himself as Alliance material, but his parents were veterans and held high expectations for him. He was more of a hippie type, but not to the point of outright rebelling against his parents, a weakness he considered he had in his adolescence. But because the fear he had of disappointing his family, he begrudgingly joined the Alliance Marines to appease them. A regret he had at first until the Reapers came.

Once They arrived, he had to forsake his previous grievances with war, military, and government. He wasn't sure if his parents were still alive, but he knew he had to fight for them; and for his home. Paul was able to be promoted to Lance Corporal during a dangerous mission involving husks and cannibals invading a colonial planet. It was after that mission that sparked a desire to improve his leadership skills. Even though the mission was a success and it earned him a promotion, a decision he had to make cost the lives of some of his buddies.

"Alright, I am getting close to the subject." Excitement flushed through Paul. The woman that he'd been hearing about for the last two and a half years might be alive. Despite his past issues with the military, he saw Shepard as the ideal hero. Diplomatic and only killed as a last resort. If he had to be like someone in the Marines, it would be her.

Paul was near the subject. The beep emanating from his detector was getting louder and faster. He sometimes wondered why they made the device work like a metal detector, but it wasn't the time to think about that. Dust and concrete surrounded the area and flowed constantly in the air, it almost seemed like he was tuned to a dead analogue channel from a less advanced planet.

"I see something!" Paul shouted. He wasn't sure exactly, but he thought he might have seen a piece of metal shaped like a dog tag glint in the almost non-existent sunlight. His squadron moved forward, albeit a little apprehensively, to see if what they found was a living person. A chunk of concrete was blocking a path, and Paul ordered his sterioid-looking muscular private to move the piece.

"Holy shit. . ." He muttered.

"What?" Hackett said.

"I can't believe it."

"Larsen! Tell me what's going on!" The Admiral demanded. "Did you find her?"

"It's her!" Paul shouted. "Her name is on her tag!"

Shepard had been conscious for some time. She woke up in a pile of rubble, not entirely sure where she was. It was silent and she wasn't sure if she was still in the Citadel or in London. Shepard had a hard time thinking clearly due to the blood loss and exhaustion. The silence was starting to become overwhelming. The sounds of gunfire, explosions, and Reapers were still fresh in her mind. A thought came to her if she ever really went to the Citadel? She didn't think that she would have survived due to the explosion from the pipe that she shot at; still wondering how that managed to destroy the reapers. Shepard came to the conclusion that nothing happened and the whole confrontation was in her head, fearing that it might have been a result of indoctrination. Or maybe she was dead.

A shot of pain spread through her leg and abdomen. Shepard tried to sit up but was too weak to even move.

"_Huh, I guess I'm not dead." _Shepard thought. _"Either that, or I'm in hell."_ If she was alive, then she wouldn't be for too long. Her wounds were too severe and her N7 armor was charred so badly that her health replenishing system wouldn't work.

Moments later, with what seemed like weeks or months, she heard something. Or someone.

* * *

Author's Note: Thanks again! I decided to introduce a new character. It wasn't what I planned, but I think I have a pretty good idea what direction I want him to go as a supporting character. Don't worry, it won't be a love triangle. This isn't Twilight. :P

I'm still trying to work on my technique, but hopefully I'll get the hang of this pretty soon. This might sound funny, but I think this might actually be the best thing I've written so far. I'll need some improvement, practice makes perfect!

**Hopefully in the future, my chapters will be longer!**

Thank you!


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